Peoples Geography — Reclaiming space

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Casting Pearls Before Swine 'Flu

Pandemics are serious stuff and each life lost, be it 10 or 1000, is a tragedy. Swine Flu does however recall the SLOPS (Severe Loss of Perspective) send-up of SARS (bird ‘flu) which I’ve reproduced below, as the menagerie of epidemics continues. (Conspiratorial speculation is also rife). Warning: Satire (and some sailor language) ahead. Visit the FKN News channel for more of Deek’s inimitable blend of satirical half-truths, ‘headlies’ and humour.

The World Health Organisation today issued a new warning against non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome (SLOPS).

Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US, almost all of Western Europe, and Canada, following further outbreaks of the disease, which has led to mass panic among the media, thousands of ecstatic children being kept out of school by their credulous and moronic parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot public rush to bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits. A WHO spokesman said, “You’d be much better off going to somewhere like Thailand or China, because all you’ve got to worry about there is SARS, and let’s face it, you’re about as likely to die from that as you are to get kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns.” The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six months, which makes it considerably more deadly than, say, malaria, which only kills around 3000 people every single day. Malaria, however, mainly effects only darkies what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at least one English person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days, and is therefore considered much more serious.

The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease. The rapid spread of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the need for Western leaders to give the public something to worry about. Otherwise, they might start asking uncomfortable questions about domestic issues, and that simply would not do.

6 comments on “Casting Pearls Before Swine 'Flu

  1. Davis
    28 April, 2009

    Very clever stuff — thanks for putting it all in the right perspective

  2. 99
    28 April, 2009

    The perfect antidote to checking the Alex Jones stream for the full panic… :-P

  3. Freeborn
    29 April, 2009

    Conspiracy theorists like Jeff Rense and Alex Jones are,like the public generally,understandably exercised re-the source of the A-H1N1 Swine Fever outbreak.

    The glaring failure of the corporate media to deal with the question of exactly where the virus came from has naturally increased public scepticism.

    On the likely huge profits that will accrue to pharmaceutical conglomerates like Glaxo-Smith-Kline and Roche,who entered into an agreement with HM Government earlier this year whereby 33.5m Tamiflu and Relenza treatment courses are now available, there is less doubt.

    Whether mass innoculation is the safe means to deal with the spread of the virus is another question which neither the media or the medical authorities have addressed.Given the history of mass vaccination programmes that have,by diversifying the strains of the viruses against which they were supposedly effective,increased the death toll the public will wonder whether pharmaceutical profits are more important to the government than public health.

    Given that 2m people died from TB in 2005-the same year Roche announced a third-quarter sale surge of Tamiflu worth £11b in the wake of the well publicized avian flu “pandemic”-conspiracy theories and public scepticism will likely proliferate about the A-H1N1 vaccine.

    In 1996 Roche agreed terms with Gilead to secure a monopoly in supplying Gilead’s Tamiflu anti-viral.

    A cursory look at the Gilead board shows prominent Bilderbergers:Rumsfeld,Etienne Davignon,Schultz et al as directors.Roche pays Gilead R and D costs as well as royalties.

    Call me a “conspiracy theorist” but these are some powerful pigs with their noses in the trough in some powerful places aren’t they? No wonder “swine fever” is spreading like…..well like bird flu really.

    GlaxoSmithKline’s record on vaccines was brought into question only last August by reports that unethical trials of one of its experimental vaccines in Argentina had resulted in the death of 14 children.

    Five months later this had been forgotten by the corporate media who were trumpeting GSK’s efforts to market cheaper drugs to developing countries than all their leading competitors.

    With Arnie the Terminator Schwarznegger leading the charge in California declaring a state of emergency and Obama calling on Congress for another $1.5b “bail-out” to fight the virus-Roche and GSK are the swine being cast yet more pearls at vast public risk and expense.

    No wasn’t some mention of epidemics in The Protocols?

    Some people need to go back and read them before it’s too late……

  4. Freeborn
    29 April, 2009

    Evidently UK government has informed health authorities nationwide,who in their turn are reassuring the public,that 50% of the population will be treatable due to government foresight in having secured the Glaxo/Roche deal earlier this year.

    What a pity the government bought the expensive and vast stockpile without checking what US medical watchdogs had said in January 2000 when both Roche and Glaxo were inundating highly susceptible media stations with reports relaying news of new outbreaks of flu of pandemic proportions across their sales areas across the States that winter.

    Visit the DN Archives for 12th January 2000 aired during a severe SLOPS outbreak re-the flu threat that winter and you will hear a doctor from the Public Citizen consumer advocacy group citing a Food and Drug Administration Advisory Committee Group report at that time that voted overwhelmingly not to approve the Relenza drug marketed by Glaxo.

    Along with Tamiflu,Relenza were found to be “almost worthless” and likely to have negative respiratory
    after-effects.Neither were any substitute for the flu vaccine nor were they of any efficacy whatever if taken more than two days after the onset of illness.

    Worse still neither drug was effective in countering flu that progressed to become pneumonia.

    Were the media really on side with the public they would surely be less susceptible to the aggressive marketing techniques of the pharmaceutical companies and more likely to warn us re-the psy-war SLOPS scams they and their elite Bilderberger friends are wont to work on us.
    `

  5. 99
    29 April, 2009

    You guys, all kidding aside, thisis turning into a real pandemic, caused by a U.S. corporate factory pig farm in the Perote Valley in Mexico. It is looking as though it may not be as lethal as originally thought, if you are far enough away from the sepsis, the intense viral loading near Mexico City, but both suspected and confirmed cases are increasing at a rapid rate. WHO has upgraded the threat level to 5, which is one shy of outright global pandemic status.

    So I don’t hold with those who want to make people afraid and to cover up the other incredibly important issues, but this is NOT something fabricated to take our minds off the rest of it. It is a very serious health crisis.

  6. Freeborn
    30 April, 2009

    Get real 99!

    The only pigs involved in this scam are the elites with interests in sales of what the FDA in 2000 called the “almost worthless” anti-virals.

    Elite manipulators with flu drug company interests include Gore,Powell and Rumsfeld.And lest we forget Obama has form on this score as well.

    In 2005 no sooner had he been elected than he set up a trust investing in AviBioPharma,wrote an NYT scare piece pimping the avian flu threat and lobbied in the Senate for more federal money and prevention measures.

    By the time anyone noticed any conflict of interest the company’s share price had rocketed and Obama was quids..sorry dollars in by 28%!

    See the excellent Corbett Report.

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This entry was posted on 28 April, 2009 by in Humor, Humour, Satire, Video and tagged , , .

Timely Reminders

"Those who crusade, not for God in themselves, but against the devil in others, never succeed in making the world better, but leave it either as it was, or sometimes perceptibly worse than what it was, before the crusade began. By thinking primarily of evil we tend, however excellent our intentions, to create occasions for evil to manifest itself."
-- Aldous Huxley

"The only war that matters is the war against the imagination. All others are subsumed by it."
-- Diane DiPrima, "Rant", from Pieces of a Song.

"It is difficult
to get the news from poems
yet men die miserably every day
for lack
of what is found there"
-- William Carlos Williams, "Asphodel, That Greeny Flower"


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